Babies are amazing. They smell oh so delicious and they have sweet little noses and they do this amazing thing where you can put them down somewhere and they'll still be in the exact same place when you come back. Then there is the love 'splosion that rocks your world as soon as they enter it. As many have said before me, having a baby is like nothing else in the world. It is incredible.
But babies are hard. And growing a baby is hard and don't even get me started on getting a baby out of your body. That is beyond hard. Really looking back, the newborn stage seems all sweet cuddles and love, but I know my brain was muddled from the hormones and lack of sleep and that during it, both times, I was slightly out of my mind. Maybe not even slightly. Maybe completely. Like most women, I struggled post-partum. I was always concerned I was doing something wrong, and I was so exhausted I had a hard time living in the moment and enjoying that stage.
And now, now things are good. Now we sleep - mostly, unless someone is sick or needs their back rubbed or a glass of water or has to go potty. Okay maybe we don't sleep all that much. But things are certainly easier than they were. My children can understand what I'm saying when I talk to them, even if they don't necessarily listen. There are no more bottles to wash. Soon there will be no more diapers to change. No more burp cloths, breast pump, swaddle blankets or bucket car seats to haul around.
Now, there are moments when my kids go off together to play, and I don't even hear the word mama for at least ten full minutes. They make each other laugh. They are self-sufficient, in their own unique, tiny person ways. They still need me to be sure, and I wouldn't have that any other way. But it's a different kind of need, and that's okay. They aren't babies anymore. They're full blown people now.
I love watching my girls grow up together, sisters. I can already see how they love each other, fiercely, just as I love them. And while I have no doubt that another child would only bring more love into this little family, I think we are complete. We have everything we need in one little package - all the crazy and happy we can take on right now.
Maybe it's because they are so close in age, or maybe it's just because I'm so terrible at being pregnant, but I am done. I'm closing up shop. I'm ready to call it a day on the baby making. Because look what I get to do instead. I get to hang out with these people.
